Don't you ever feel just completely ridiculous? Like you are the only person in the world who thinks and acts the way you do? I feel that way quite often. I am so random. The things I like and the way I feel about the world is just so....well, I don't know what it is. I'm pretty positive sometimes that there is ABSOLUTELY NO ONE who would understand why I say what I say or what in the world I mean. At least one person every day looks at me like I'm from Mars.

Moving on:

I am so excited about the holidays. There is no way I will make it through these two days of work without going crazy. I cannot wait to sleep in and hang out with my family. Gal is here and I am so so happy. I can't wait to see Glory and Dustin - everyone will be together.

This weekend I went to IKEA and bought a couch and an entertainment center. My livingroom doesn't look like a boy's dorm room anymore! It actually looks like someone lives there. A girl. This is such good news. I want to sit on my couch and just stare at that TV stand all day. Why is it that something so small can actually be the catalyst that makes you think to yourself, "I am a grown up. When did this happen?" I didn't get this feeling when I graduated college or bought a truck or my own place. Nope. It was today...when I saw that perfect couch sitting in my livingroom. That's right folks. I'm living la vida loca.

Also, you would not BELIEVE how bad my new driver's license picture is. It is the epitomy of stupid. Would it kill them to take a better picture? It would really help the quality of life for a large number of people.

I have had so many things on my mind and heart this week! I feel like God is teaching me more and more about who He is.

My overwhelmingly precious friend Jade posted an entry on her blog the other day about Matt - a boy from her church. He passed away recently. He had cancer. He had just turned 20. When I read that, it just brought tears to my eyes. He found out he had cancer when he was my brother's age. I know he is happy and whole and with Jesus, but I cry for his family. This just emphasized in my mind the need to let the people around us KNOW that we love them. Life is so short, and can be taken away so quickly. Spend your last ten dollars to buy someone the CD they want, tell your family you love them, go spend time sitting with your grandparents. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. What kind of legacy would we leave if today was our last day on this Earth?

Last night I was able to, through a committee at church, extend grace to someone who greatly needed it. To see the appreciation that person had, even though they knew it was more than they had asked, was life-changing. I saw Jesus in that moment...the glory of Jesus displayed. I have decided to make a conscious effort to see Jesus in my everyday life. I want to see him in the faces of those around me, in the beauty of nature and in the monotony of routine. I want to be in constant communication with Him.

God is also teaching me (as He usually is:) to trust His plans for me. I thought a door was opening, and spent hours in prayer; just seeking God's face and direction. Today, that door closed. It was a little disheartening at first, but I as I contemplated this, God changed my mind. It is a blessing just to know that God is speaking to me clearly. He is teaching me to lean on Him. He will truly direct my paths! It's awesome to be a part of this. Even though sometimes I do wish things had happened differently, it is refreshing to know and see clear direction from Him.

"We can not always know the mind of God...but we ALWAYS know the heart of God." - Beth Moore